Friday, July 24, 2009

Why do they shut me out?

I am a 36 year old woman with long blond hair, blue eyes, I stand at 5'4" and wiegh 115 lbs. I consider myself attractive. I have been told by many people that I am very sweet and nice, and I try to be. I think I am a nice person.



My kids play with the neighbor kids daily. I allow them to play in my house, take them places, etc. I even provide snacks and drinks. I have reached out to the mother and invited her to join me for coffee or to chat on occasion. She always declines. I just noticed yesterday that she has become very good friends with the lady across the street who also has kids.



It seems evident that she is not interested in my offer of friendship. When I see both of these women, they never say hello while I smile and say hello to them. Why are they shutting me out?



Why do they shut me out?

You cannot be responsible for peoples short comings, are either of you guys married. She probably feels threatened by you for appearances alone. Her boyfriend or husband may have made a comment about you and she has been pissed off every since then. I bet the both of them have simular looks they are probably both not so attractive soccer moms who have a lot in common and that's being ugly. You have been nothing but nice to that woman, let it go and move on-its their problem not yours. Its funny how we are so quick judge someone on their outward appearance before we get to know them as a person. I can simpathize with you because I had a friend who was built like a brick house has blonde hair, gray eyes and all the men were attracted to her...at first a little jealousy was there because of all the attention she got but when I got to know her she became a really close friend because of how nice she was to me and how she treated me and I talked with her and she really didn't have any female friends outside of her family because most women were threatened by her and they were afraid of her as if she wanted their men. I wish you well on this one.



Why do they shut me out?

who knows..people can be so strange. don't let it bother you..continue to be nice and be friendly but don't go out of your way...good luck



Why do they shut me out?

sounds like they're jealous and just acting really immature. bake some goodies and take it over to their house. if they still decline, don't waste anymore time of them.



Why do they shut me out?

That's very odd, and a tough situation to be in. Maybe consider having a formal party and inviting all the parents or neighbors. Maybe larger groups in this particular setting may work.



Why do they shut me out?

Impossible to know. Maybe you are just a different "type." Maybe they resent you if you really are attractive...no on can answer this except you and them.



Why do they shut me out?

maybe they are jealous because of your "good looks" and maybe you carry yourself in a way that makes them envy you... or maybe their husbands... if they have one, are interested or has given you interest... this could case problems also



Why do they shut me out?

Just keep trying to befriend them. Once they see that your nice and all the things you do for their kids they should deffinatly want to say thank you at least and if the dont then stop talking to them and doing things for her kids. its not your responsibility its hers. she is just putting her kids on you



Why do they shut me out?

Jealousy maybe? That is pretty harsh though. I mean, Im 13, but still, I feel for you. If they treat you like that, thry aren't true. Find some new people; be their friend. You don't need that woman. :P



Why do they shut me out?

um all ii can saii iisz dat dey iisz sum stuck ^ biitchesz fa real doe n ii thiink dat chu shouldnt let dem worrii u dnt even sweat iit jusz let iit go n lwt dem realiize wat a miistake deii made iin not establiishiing a friiendshiip wiit chu...



Why do they shut me out?

They may not realize you try so hard. maybe they don't even realize they do it. maybe it's a routine that just happens and you don't do anything extra or any hard work to prepare it they may not even be aware that you even try. talk to them about it and ask plenty of questions.



good luck



Why do they shut me out?

could be your kids relationship with the other kids. this is most likely the conduit by which they have gained most information about you. or it could be that they are just fat ugly women that are jealous. either way dont let it bother you. be positive about your relationships with them and they will come around. if not they are not worth it.



Why do they shut me out?

Tell me who your friends are and i will tell you who you are.



Rejoice, their shutting you up might just mean they are not your class, they are different from you. Your sweetness and niceness might not be present with them and they are insecure about you.



The good thing is you are making yourself available to them as your friend but if they are not interested dont force yourself to them. There are more interesting people around for sure.



be friendly still to them sometimes persistence will bear fruit, they may be just testing your sincirity and intentions. Be positive about it.



Why do they shut me out?

Sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees, so to speak. Who knows, maybe you made a comment in passing that struck them the wrong way, maybe they have issues with self esteem and feel intimidated of you in some way. Just be yourself and be polite when necessary, don't sweat this one.



People come and go in and out of our lives every day, just be assured that you offered your hand out in friendship, and they didn't accept. God bless you and good luck.



Why do they shut me out?

I don't know but I'd like to be your friend.



If you were friends with me you'd forget all about those clique-y women across the road.



I don't know why they're shutting you out but you sound lovely enough. Maybe they think that by inviting you into their lives you will pose a threat, because you're nice and they're not. They must be married..?



Sometimes it's better to keep people out and lose a potential friend than make friends and potentially lose a husband, I guess.



Why do they shut me out?

Whatever the reason, it's about them, not you. I think that what we think about other people belongs to us. Your neighbors don't know you, so if they're shutting you out, they may have created some kind of story, but it's theirs. You've been friendly and helpful. You're fine. Don't let this situation zap anymore energy from you.



Why do they shut me out?

Yah, I feel your pain. I have been in similar situations. I am now a single mom to a young son. I am a former Model and Miami Dolphin's Cheerleader, though I never tell that to people. I have stayed in shape but it is from hard work and effort. I have learned that insecure people in general, are threatened by other people they consider either more attractive, more intelligent, more financially well-off, etc. They will often find a reason not to like you. It is so petty and shallow, but unfortunately, it exists.



I remember even in high school some girl telling me she though I would be a witch with a capital B, before she really got to know me. Now, I have certain neighbors that I swear must think I am going to steal thier husbands away, though I could really care less and am so happy alone. I adore my son and he is my life. I have made some good friends with other women in my life, and have just learned not to get upset about those who don't want to be my friend. I have learned not to take it personally as I used to do. I realized it is not my problem, but theirs. Their insecurities keep them from knowing a potentially great friend, but that is their loss.



Hang in there. You will have the friends you were meant to have and everybody else will just miss out.



Why do they shut me out?

maybe they are in the same wacko religion, maybe your neighbor is abused and has only told the other neighbor, maybe they have known each other for many, many years, maybe they are unattractive and are threatened by your looks like some women are known to do and they like to talk sh*t about you to make themselves feel better.



I am sure you are a wonderfully pleasent woman with nice children, your of an age where you should stop seeking others approval. If it is that you are new in town, and just need someone to talk to, try taking your kids to the park or somewhere else parents like you take their kids to play. And if your neighbors want to act like that, f*ck 'em, you lasted this long without their friendship and you somehow survived.



All the best



Why do they shut me out?

There are many reasons why this may be happening. Are you new to the neighborhood? Some people are awkward around new people and are "afraid" to get to know them.



It could be that they feel like you share no common interests.



Maybe they are jealous of you.



I honestly don't know what to tell you about this situation but, try to remain friendly with them and maybe eventually they'll come around.



Why do they shut me out?

You really honestly sound like a very nice lady.I would give anything to have you as a neigbor/friend as I would love to have coffee talks with you.Believe it or not but some ladies feel insecure about their looks and therefore avoid making friends with other women who might be very attractive.This could be the reason.Keep doing what you are doing and you will find friends who will treat you and include you the way you deserve it.



Keep in mind if more people were as nice as you are... the world would be a much better and funner place.Good Luck %26amp; God Bless Your Kind Soul!!!



Why do they shut me out?

Because they are bitches. I definitley would not keep extending invitations and feeding neighborhood children only to be stepped on like a doormat. You are a very sweet person for doing all this, Lord, I wish you lived nextdoor to me! Some people are just ingrates who take advantage of other people's kindness and generosity. Don't kiss anyone's tail. I know you treat the kids out of the goodness of your heart, but, really, it needs to stop. I wouldn't lift a finger to wave at those other "mother's" unless it was the middle one. Look in the paper or online to find playgroups in you area. Good Luck!!!



Why do they shut me out?

You sound like a nice woman, so don't worry so much about them. If you know in your heart you have tried to be nice and they are the ones who aren't responding, let it go.



Just continue being nice and don't let them -and their insecurity - make you doubt yourself.



Who needs people like that around, anyway? Negative people contaminate you and drain you...Good luck!



Why do they shut me out?

stop putting yourself out there like a rug for them to walk over, I understand that you want your kids to have friends especially in the neighborhood, but I wouldn't be doing anything extra for their kids, I know it sounds cruel but its the truth, if they don't respect you enough to wanna hold a conversation, why bother trying to continue to be nice, i'd say f#%k em.

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