How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

I know it's been time. 35 yrs old, 2 kids together 8 and 6. Been together 14 years. Left 3 times over the years, he's left about 5 but we always end up back together. life with him has been a living hell. I can't believe I'm still here on this eath I've been through so much pain. Been called stupid *****, dumb *** mf, worthless, lazy, drop dead from diabetes *****, fat(i'm not), dead weight, you are nothing to me, i don't care about your feelings, go put your wig on baldy(when my hair fell out from meds at one point), you're gonna end up dead like your brothers(who died from diabetes). Shall i go on?? He'll say this even when the kids are around. He screams in my face to the top of his lungs while spitting in my face from his harsh words. We lost our house(b/c he stopped paying), live in a tiny apt. now and he brings home $900 a week and rarely gives me money and expects me to follow all of his orders. I can't stand him and me and the kids can move back with my mom and brothers. I just

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

I was in an abusive marriage for 17 years. It was the hardest thing I ever did to leave because we were very wealthy and we live in and work in Hollywood but no amount of money or fame could ever make up for the peace I feel now being out of that "walking on eggshell " life I was leading. You think that because your kids aren't being beaten physically that they aren't being abused?The yo-yo going back and forth thing is torture on children. It is best to just get out and stay out. When I finally had the courage to get out of my situation my children were all angry with me and literally all emotionally fell apart but we all have picked up the pieces since then and moved on and I am very close with all 4 of my children. It is so amazing to walk into my home and have a sense of peace here. It is as it should feel. Like a safe haven from the world. It used to feel like we were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Never knowing what was going to set him off. We could have a situation where we thought for sure he would explode when he came home and he would brush it off and say," Oh, things happen...don't worry about it" and then on another day something small would happen and it was as if he flipped a switch and went crazy. We just never knew. Who can live like that? You have to believe inside yourself that you deserve better than this and if you can't get motivated for yourself do it for your children. If you feel you can't afford to leave go to a domestic violence shelter. They will help you with everything from counseling to relocation. No one can do this for you. It is like being an addict. No intervention is going to do a bit of good if you don't have it inside yourself to be fed up enough to want this change in your life. Don't waste another day trying to make something work that is only causing you and your children pain. Divorce is not easy but it is better than losing your identity in an abusive relationship. I don't know if you are a religious person but this is my thought... you are a daughter of God and as a daughter of God you are divine in nature. It doesn't matter what your background is or who your parents are you come directly from a father in heaven. If you keep that in your mind you will always know that you are worth being treated with dignity and respect. It will be the hardest thing you will ever do but you have to get out. I know you can do it. You have it in you. Be strong and stay close to God. He will guide you in caring for yourself and your children.

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

just up and leave

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

Call your local Women's Crisis Center and tell them this info. Leave now, for your children's sake.

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

Well, one thing's for sure - you can't stay where you are. This man is pure venom - you need to leave. Go to your mother's place if you have to. You're not a failure just because you need some help! It wont be easy but in the long run you'll be a lot better off without him. You might even surprise yourself by what you can achieve without his constant insults and put downs. You go girl - you can do it. Good luck.

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

well that is awful,,you need to leave before you lose your kids. I would call a womens shelter and see if you can get some sort of housing so you do not have to live with your mom. and then you will also have some protection from him. your just going to have to start over and I hope someday you find someone who treats you good.

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

When you get tired of it you will leave.

I am sure you have heard this a million times. You do not have to take that.

Do not allow your children to make decisions for you. What? You say you are not? Yes you are. Your children are telling Social services that their dad spanks them. They know if they say things that SS will make them leave. The only thing is they don't understand that SS will not make you leave only them. Because you are keeping them in a horrific environment.

You are not anything bad he calls you. He does not deserve you. Do you actually think the Creator of the Universe agrees with the treatment you are getting or the treatment your children are getting?

Do you think that your children will learn to behave differently than you or their father?

If you have a boy he will learn to treat women like this. He will learn that women should take it. He will feel out of control and then do exactly what his father is doing.

If you have a daughter she will learn to do what you are doing. Do you want to see your daughter hurt like you are being hurt? No of course not.

So when you get tired you will go.

It will be hard and he will say horrible things to hurt you but he will not really want custody of the kids. He barely takes care of you now do you think he will take care of them on his own? NO. Besides you have proof now that he is abusive so there is no way he can get custody. But if you delay and the neighbors keep calling SS it will show you as unfit too and you will have to struggle to get them back do you want that?

But if you allow it to go on and it happens you are showing what you really want.

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

You are in an unhealthy relationship. Save yourself and the kids from this man and get out of there quick. If he's the type to retaliate, get a restraining order. Leave and don't look back.

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

I have been in this situation. My daughter is three now and I have been out of the abusive relationship for 2 years. You CAN NOT let your children be subjected to this. Move back in with your mom. It is not failing, it will be the biggest success of your life. Think of how much stronger you will be without that piece of **** around. The only way you will be a failure in this situation is to stay. While your kids may not like school for a while and they may not understand what is truly happening, it will pay off. I promise. Please, please move in with your mom. Get on your feet without help from the children's father. You and they deserve more.

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

ok i've been in ur shoes i was with a man who abused me physically and verbally for many years. theres no reason to stick around especially if you have children. Do what my friends told me to do start asock fund. every time u get ne money put it away somewher for me it was my socks. even if its a dollar or some change it will add up and eventually buy you a one way ticket out.thats the only way you have to get away if you stay close you'll end up right back where u started and take the kids they don't need a father if its like that you are all better off.

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

1. Look into women's shelters for help/counseling.

2. Make a plan to leave and do whatever you have to do to get ready to get out. Be sure your mom is ready and able to let you move in.

3. Take your kids and go. Better the inner city with no fear in their home. Kids will adjust to new schools. Kids are suffering from the abuse they see you taking. Its bad for them , too.

4. Get a Temporary Restraining Order if you need to, to keep him away from you and the kids.

5. File for divorce and get child-support and get busy re-building your lives. You can do it. There is help out there. So, get going and respect yourself for no longer taking the abuse.

I know its hard, but no one can fix your life for you. You will feel so much better when you stop letting him treat you so badly. I hope things improve soon for you and your children!

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

People who are thinking rationally and haven't been in this situation can't understand how hard it is to make the decision to leave.

But unfortunately, every answer here is right. You just need to up and leave. Take only what you can carry and go to a women's shelter. If you move into your mums he will follow you and abuse you more. If you can, ring the shelter from your mums before you leave him for expert advice on how to leave %26amp; what to take. Don't worry about your children's school or your daughter being sad. With time, these things will resolve themselves. This man is a bad influence on the kids and his behaviour can only esculate. You are the adult, and you need to make decisions on behalf of the kids, you do not need to (and should not ever) ask them to make these kind of decisions. The kids will have a chance to live their lives once they are independent. More than likely, they will respect you more in time. As for you, you only get one life so get out and change yours. Plan to get back on track in a year or so - you deserve some happiness.

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

Sounds like your between a rock and a hard place.You really have to think about your own sanity and the mental abuse this is causing your kids, they will grow up and remember all these things that are happening. Your not happy and more than likely your not safe. Reality check..... Get out while you can, get the kids out of this bad situation and start a new life. If he wants to be part of it let him and let him see the kids but make him remember what he has done and make him prove himself to you before even thinking about having another relationship with him.

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

your story has hit home to me. im staying at a friends tonight cause my abusive husband has put a hole in the wall tonight. its hard to move the kids around, but think of all that uninterrupted happiness when he is noy around anymore!!! good luck!!!

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

Someone around you loves you and your kids...Seek their help ASAP .Since he is abussive I would not let him find out about your plans! I hope you and your kids get out and have a happy life!

How do I finally leave abusive marriage?

It is not your fault but you need to get out no matter what for you and the kids you are just taking you and the kids through a lot of uncalled abuse get out of there get aprotective order against him. your kids are not old enough too choose what school they go to. protect you and your kids if you have to home school awhile