This is a long story and i"ll try to shorten it up. My entire life i have never had anyone that has loved me. My grandparents on my mothers side, i would do anything for, but it and i was never good enough. mainly i think because they hated my father. they always compaired me to my cousin, who had everything, her dad was a professional and made alot of money. My dad was a drug addict that never worked and was always on the wrong side of the law. my dad never believed i wasn't his kid, because i was so much lighter hair and skined than my brothers, we are italian. My mother never was happy with me cause i was first born, and first born should be a son. I have always done things and been there for my mother, bent over backwards to please her,but it was never enough or not good enough. i am married now and have a child she is a teenager and i have tried to give her everything i never had. i married a man that cares more about money than anyone or anything else, my mom is the same way.
I Need Help, Advice.?
time to pack and go
I Need Help, Advice.?
Sounds like you dont need your mom tell your Kid that she can see her grandma if she wants but u dont want ne thing to do with her or your dad Your husband sounds to be a man who cares about you for the extra 0's a month... I just say if you dont straighten up im gone
I Need Help, Advice.?
I think as far as your husband goes if he is actually treating you badly its time to leave. I think you may have gotten with him because you were looking for someone to love you the way you think they should, and since you didnt get the kind of love you needed from your family you rushed into something with someone looking for that love, and ended up with what you got because of it. When you know you dont have the money to spend on things even though your only doing it to better your daughters life you dont go racking up cradit card bills because it makes everything worse as you found out. My parents did the same crap with thier bills, and now cant keep up because they never change thier spending habbits which is the first thing that has to change. Depending on how bad your bills are I would suggest looking into claiming bankruptsy. It will kill your credit score for a couple years, but will take care of all those bills you cant keep up with, once you file for bankruptsy DO NOT go spending money like you have been doing, etc, or you will end up right where you are again. You husband didnt love you in the way he should if he seeing you wearing raggy clothes dont help you out with getting new ones, or maybe thats your fault because he has no idea about the bills you have which if he catches you lying to him about even if you get them taken care of he probibly will leave you not because you lost control of your bills like that, but because you lied about it instead of coming to him for help before they got that out of control so really look into that bankruptsy thing before you make it worse. If your husband isnt caring towards you then you really shouldnt be with him anyway, and maybe should consider moving on from that. Your daughter would understand that especially being as old as she is if you talk to her about it, she probibly already senses things arent right between you guys anyway. You have to think about how just because you never really got everything you wanted when you were younger that it doesnt mean you have to give your daughter everything. All she really needs is your love, and support which is all you really needed when you were her age. You will find someone someday that loves you the way you diserve to be loved. My parents are just as negative as yours were, but I dont let that stop me, or make me feel like I aint loved because I know someone out there loves me, or at least will in the way I need them too. I also know that even with how negative my family can be that they still somewhere deep down love me, and have thier reasons for being so hard on me so I dont hold it against them, or thats how I keep it from getting to me. Did you ever discuss with any of them how they made you feel chances are that they may not have even knew they were making you feel like that in the first place, and that they are just so used to being so negative did it without realizing how it made you feel, or made you think they felt of you. I think maybe some councilling will help you work through all of this if you cant talk to anyone else about what your going through emotionally because everyone needs to be able to turn to someone when they have things like this on thier mind, everyone should have someone to talk to. The next thing once you get your bills straightend out I would consider learning how to communicate better with your family, and people you are supposed to love/love you because until you can talk to them your always going to feel the way you do.. communication is needed in any relationship regaurdless of its friends, family, and especially your husband.. without communication with him your marriage is really doomed to fail, or you just going to be unhappy for the rest of your life. I really wish you the best, and hope everything works out for you because I know this situation has to be hard, I see some of it with my family. Its made me a stronger person, and tought me what things not to do. Hope this helps.
I Need Help, Advice.?
Your a victim of your own circumstances, you've tried to not be like your parents but you have taken it to the opposite extreme which has put you in a similar predicament as if you
would have been without providing enough, by providing so much more outside your means it has created the atmosphere that creates tension, lies and deceit within the family unit...all from good intentions, there lies a problem within such intentions that is not clearly seen by you that creates dysfunction from the decisions you make. Unfortunately, I believe things are going to get worse before they can get better....the truth of your financial situation will come out one way or the other, which is not going to be taken well...however, I feel there is a silver lining to all good intentions, you just need to learn how to direct them so it creates positives in your life as well as others, the truth must be told, seek professional help to make the necessary adjustments within your decision making and I believe you'll still have a happy ever after...good luck.
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