How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

My mom has really gotton on my last nerve! My 2 year old daughter fell down and skinned her knee and my mom was not there but assumes that one of my other kids pushed her.

My 12 year old wore a new outfit this morning and my mom didn't say anything nice about it just that her hair looked messy even though my daughter just brushed it before my mom arrived.

My 6 year old son is not liked by my mom at all! She is totally negative towards my son (calls him a crybaby, etc) and he knows my mom plays favorites with his sisters.

Lastly, she always seems to remind me of when my kids do something 'wrong' in her eyes that it's because their dad let them get away with it and it really stresses me out that she loves to find fault with everything and hardly says one nice thing and if she does it sounds shallow or fake :(

I feel she has no respect for me, my husband or our kids and I wish she would just not be in our lives or business so much.

I don't know how to cope with her anymore!

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

You tell her she isnt helping at all but making life harder for all of you by being so negative and that you and your kids need all the positive they can get now and then you give her an ultimatum that if she cant be that for you and them that contact with her will be very limited. Tell her if she can change her attitude and start being a positive influence rather then a negative one she will be welcome in your lives. Also you make SURE you let her know that she will no longer play favorites and will be promptly ousted from your home at any sign of it.

Then you stick to what you said and next time she comes over you tell her to leave as soon as her negativity starts. Then dont let her in the door again until she proves she can be postive.

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

sryy but Ithin ksome one(you)needs(need) to tellher that shes had her chance to be a momand that its your turn....srrry if offensive

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How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

i would just tell her up front that if she can't be nice or say anything nice to your children that you don't want her there because it causes to much trouble.

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

Tell her how you feel abotu ehr treating your kids.

If you have a problem with the person its best to talk ti out with them.

be careful though TALK it out not ARGUE if she starts trying to twist words adn throw it back at you, try to keep calm and reconfront it.

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

Tell her how you are feeling, you have enough stress and would love her support. But if she continues to be negative then she will not be welcomed

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

Your mom is still trying to raise you as if you were still dependent upon her. My wife had the same problem. Finally, she had to just cut her out of her kids life. It lasted a couple of weeks before "mom" promised to stop. It worked.

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

Your mom sounds like a very negative influence in your family's life. I'd look for ways to reduce the amount of time that you spend with her for a while, because it is causing a lot of stress.

You are an adult and the mom of three kids. You have the right -- no, the obligation -- to let your mother know you don't like her behavior. It's called "putting your foot down." Take her out to lunch -- you can say it respectfully, but you need to make it clear that you absolutely will not tolerate her putting down your husband -- especially since he is away serving our country. Also point out instances where she has been rude to your children -- let's give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she doesn't know how her behavior has affected them. Make sure she knows that you are telling her this because you want your mom and children to know and love each other, but her behavior is making it difficult. I know, it's easier to just let her have her say and sit there and steam, but in the long run, you will earn her respect by demanding it.

If she is offended by your remarks, that might cut down on the visits by itself. :-) If that's the case -- well, that's regrettable, but as long as you have had your say politely, respectfully and with love, then anything she does after that is her own choice. If she is unfazed by your remarks, then it's time to start cutting down on the visits and stop depending on her so much for babysitting.

Maybe she's so negative because she doesn't have anything to focus on outside of her own life. Maybe she needs some encouragement to find something to volunteer at, to give her something else to focus on.

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

I think you should move back to wherever you lived before your husband was deployed... If you have a meddling KNOW IT ALL mother who degrades your kids, you do NOT need for those kids to be around her AT ALL.... if you can't tell her to stay away, then you may have to move again to get away from her----your children and how well they grow up should be your MAIN CONCERN and I'm sorry but your mother is NOT a good substitute for your husband--ESPECIALLY the way she acts....

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

I had a simular problem with my in laws after my wife and i got married. Her mother didn't like me at all!! I talked it over with my wife and we came to an agreement,It was a all or nothing deal. So when my mother in law called over to talk to my wife, I simply told her that from now on, She had better not expect my wife to come over or call ever again. And that our children would only have one set of grandparents,And it wouldn't be her!! She either accepts us as a package deal or she get nothing at all. You need to stand up to your mother and tell her how you don't like how she treats your children. You need to tell her that these are YOUR children. and you will raise them how you see fit!! If she wants to be part of their lives,she will have to show them and you the respect the you deserve or she will simply not be welcome at your home. She is not to play favorites with any of the children. Period!!! And she will show your husband that you love the respect that he deserves as well. He is still supporting his family while serving his country. I am afriad this will be the only thing that she understands. That is how it was with my mother in law, She finally came around. Now we are friends,Sadly we had to get tough with her for her to understand how she was treating us was affecting our relationship and that she was wrong in how she was acting as well.. I see this as your only option at this time, But you must be firm and stand your ground for yourself and your family. I hope that this has helped you and i wish you well!!

P.S. You may have to cut her out of your life for awhile for her to learn a lesson, I hope it doesn't have to come to this. But don't be afraid to do it if it becomes necessary to do so.

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

ok darlin at this point i have to say firstly... i think your mom is very worried about your husband being in iraq.so she over compensates by dowing u and the kids. she should seek some kind of support group so she can take her frustrations out on them instead of you and your kids.

even though its not her son over there it is your husband and she worries as you do that he might not come back.... and you would be left with the kids to raise alone and she would have to help.... not that she wouldnt but she probably feels as most parents do that their job is done and they dont want to raise and take care of another family again....

at this point i would offer to say to you "ask your mom to go to a group session and talk out her fears there and when she has been there for a while then she may come back to your home and visit with you and the kids..it wouldnt hurt if you attended the same sessions as well with her so you both can share your pain....

i recently sold my cafe in oklahoma. we named it "Old Glory Cafe"and we dedicated the building to all our troops. they would come in and sign the walls. i was so proud of all of our service personal. we had over 400 signatures on the walls it was so beautiful... its a great thing what your husband is doing for his country... be proud ,hold your head up high and look to god for comfort... hes there for you and i pray he will bring your husband and all of our troops home safe.... very soon...

cope with her together as one and go to a group session . take the kids as well. let them vent thair issues with your mom too. if she sees she is hurting them mentaly by degrading all they and you do then maybe she will wake up and smell the roses...

i hope this helped

remember god loves you

cheers

josie

ps my mom is like that as well . i am the middle child of 7 and i have never gotten any respect from my family.... due to the fact that i was so much like my grandma... stuborn,bull headed,and set in my ways.... and yes if my daughter looks bad in something or has too much makup on i will be truthfull and tell her but 99% of the time she always looks beautiful... shes my daughter and i love her no matter what she looks like... its her personalaty showing thru and your mom should see this in you and your kids as well... but fear is clouding how she really feels . go to the group sessions ... it will help

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

you are just going to have to speak to her. what she is doing is hurting your family. you as a parent, have a right to yell, you tell her she has no right to treat your children this way and YOU won't allow it. she may be your mother, but you are an adult and a mother, also, and you raise your children the way you want and you will not allow her to dish out mental abuse towards your children, or for the matter, to yourself and if she cannot control her tongue, it would be better if she didn't come around so often. let her know that it was her choice to move closer to you to help, but that she is not helping, she is just causing you and your family a lot of unnecessary stress and you just can't and won't put up with it any longer.

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

If this is how you really feel about her mom, talk to her about if she refuses to change, then stay away from her. If she tries to visit then tell her until she accepts your children and treat them properly she is no longer welcome in your home period.

You and your children dont need this stress and negative talk from her.

How do I cope with a parent that has crossed the line? Any advice PLZ!?

Hey dear don't be so stressed out. The time is indeed harsh to you. But can you try this formula please try to pray for her that GOD may give her some understanding. And you can always if u want avoid her comments. Hey cheer up! don't be disheartened see such a huge group of answer yahoo. com is with u. Cheer up dear! and remember pray for her. Goodbye.