Friday, July 24, 2009

About Mother In-law and Brother In-law and hygiene?

Okay so my mother in-law has a son who is 14 (we will call him Peter) and neither of them have good hygiene at all...in fact they smell horrible. When I was 17 and my husband was 21 we had short term custody of Peter who was 8 then.. while my MIL got on her feet. While Peter lived with my husband and I we made sure that Peter took good care of himself and his hygiene but as soon as he got back with his mom he got nasty again...he is now 14 and is bullied in school because of this...my husband rescently took Peter to get a hair cut and the people who cut his hair had to wash it 3 times before they could even do anything with it. Their body odor stinks up our whole house every time they come over and Peter was even called into the office at school twice last school year to be told that he smells bad and it is a distraction to the other kids in school. What can we do? We have tried talking to both MIL and Peter individually numerous times and nothing seems to help



About Mother In-law and Brother In-law and hygiene?

Your MIL is an adult so it is up to her to look after herself. You have done as much as you can for her so don't worry about her anymore.



Your BIL is still a child, though old enough to manage his own hygiene. His mother is a bad example to him. I'd speak to child services. Maybe you are able, and want to, have Peter live with you again. Either way Peter needs to have someone other than his Mother care for him.



About Mother In-law and Brother In-law and hygiene?

Call child protection services or try to get custody of him.



About Mother In-law and Brother In-law and hygiene?

Unfortunately your going to have to use tough love with this one. Just don't have them over, and if they want to, insist on their cleanliness. This is a very touchy subject, and confronting it is going to be difficult. But really, you don't have to have them over to your home.



About Mother In-law and Brother In-law and hygiene?

I used to babysit 3 boys [one 2, one 6, and the oldest 9 years old]. that were so poor...they behaved like angels with me but misbehaved and had temper tantrums when their parents were home. I fed them breakfast and made sure the 2 older boys were dressed properly for school and sent the two older boys to school while I looked after the 2 year old. While the 2 year old watched t.v. [and come down to my apartment to play with my cats], he was always polite...always said please and thank you without being asked and if he accidentally bumped into me he would say he was sorry without me telling him to.



While I was up in his apartment and he was occupied watching t.v., I washed and dried and put away the dishes, wiped their counters, cleaned their stove and oven, cleaned their bathroom, washed their kitchen and bathroom floors and made the children's beds. I folded the laundry and swept the living room floor. I even taught the 2 year old to help me put away his toys when he was done with them. He did this quite willingly. When the mother came home, she was so ungrateful and told me that she couldn't afford to pay me for cleaning as well. I told her that I didn't want a cent for my cleaning because I did it because I enjoyed cleaning and when the 2 year old was watching the t.v., I had nothing to do so I liked to do something and surprise her [the mother] when she got home. As well, I would buy the boys pizza on occasion, and take the 2 year old to burger king for a meal [paid out of my own pocket.] I even bought the 9 year old a new pair of shoes at Walmart [the father did offer to reimburse me, but I told him it was on me [the boy's shoes that he was wearing to school were so tattered and the soles were coming apart from the rest of his shoes. I even bought new pillows for the 3 boys because their old ones were so gray and filthy from never being washed. I even bought them a huge bin to put their dirty laundry in because their dirty laundry was sprawled, 2 feet high, all over the parent's



bedroom floor. The parents did appreciate some things, but were more concerned about themselves than their children. On a daily basis they went out and bought a case of beer and yelled and snapped at their kids when they were just trying to talk to their parents. I grew very fond of their children and they



adored me. One day, while I was visiting, the two youngest were climbing on my back and kissed me on the cheek as I was sitting on the couch [which was so sweet and not bothering me in the least bit]but their mother yelled at them and told them to stop it. That's when I quit. In my opinion I think that you have done the best that you possibly can. With some people it just goes in one ear and out the other. I applaud you for your efforts.

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