Abandoning traditions to be with the one u love?

i am dating a guy who is 8yrs older than me..we come from 2 different worlds him being a muslim n me a catholic..we both kno are parents would never agree to us being together n so we have been seeing each other secretly for about six mnths,we are also from different races n in dis part of the world it is looked down upon,yes i live in an arab country..anyways, ive come to a point where i have to decide if all this is worth it.dont get me wrong hes amazing,sweet n generous,understanding in some ways,a little posessive but i think he expects to much..he wants me to cover my hair some day mayb stay at home n look after the kids..who have to be muslim. Which means all the traditions like christmas n actually getting married in a church(something ive always wanted) will all just be ignored..im nt sure im ok wid dat..

Abandoning traditions to be with the one u love?

Mandy, I was married for 18 years to an Arab Muslim. I am also Muslim. But now divorced. It isn't just the religion, it is the culture. I have been living for 12 years in an Arab country. We had children together. When I first got here, there were 28 other American women also married to locals. There are only 5 of us left. I am still here, living alone as a single mom because I cannot take my children out of the country. Romeo and Juliet died. I know about your feelings for him, I've felt the same. But after a couple of years of marriage, you'll yearn for familiar things. Christmas, your own traditions/customs. It is best to marry someone from your own background because in the end, it is that which you will find most comforting. Someone who can relate to you, knows the words to the same songs, understands what it feels like to wake up Christmas morning with your family and kids. Save yourself the pain of a difficult future where you are denied your own history. Where you come from, the things you've grown up with are all part of who you are. Think of all the fond memories you've had growning up. All of the things you liked. Riding bikes with your friends, swimming, etc. Are your children, especially daughters, going to be able to enjoy the same joys in their lives? I've done the math, of only the people I have met or heard of in my area, we have a 95% divorce rate. Think of all those kids in broken homes and missing one of their parents. The other 5% are not happy homes either. Also, the devotion Arabs have towards family runs deep, but as wives go, you'll be low man on the totem pole. His parents, siblings, etc.. will come before even you and your own kids. I shared the same religion, but it isn't the only factor. Culture plays a huge part. Sometimes even bigger than religion. And anyone who says they are not intertwined, is not living in reality.

Abandoning traditions to be with the one u love?

if i was in both of ur spots, i'd say...

to hell with religion and tradition and get married anyway u want , hell get married in a church and a muslim ceremony.

but, this guy wants to throw everything u want away.

so don't marry him and find some1 else.

or u could just get married by a judge of peace

Abandoning traditions to be with the one u love?

You have a hard decision to make. It reminds me of Romeo and Juliet.

If both of your parents will disapprove of this union and your guy is a bit overbearing in what he wants or expects from you, you need to do some serious thinking on what YOU want and make demands of your own. It is give and take. Can't you combine your traditions in some way?

I wish the very best for you but feel that this relationship is one sided. Good luck and God Bless!

Abandoning traditions to be with the one u love?

You might want to rethink marrying this guy. It sounds like it all has to be his way...why can't it be somewhere in the middle. Is he controlling you because you are younger? You might want to come back down a little closer to your age.