My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Hi. I am a 27 year old mother of 2 and I have been married for almost 5 and a half years. Over the last 5 years my husband has hit me on and off. It started out just pushing me down onto a couch to listen to now doing things like grabbing my hair and trying to punch me in the stomach. He also says he's sorry but then immediatly tells me it's my fault and if I wouldn't "push his buttons" he wouldn't hit me. Now he even threatens me with things like 'that's why you get smacked around' when I say things he doesn't like. He is also verbally abusive. He basically tells me on a regular basis that I yell at the kids too much (I get no help from him so I get frusturated), I am lazy,I don't do anything (I lost my job about a year and a half ago)and worst of all tells me I am a horrible mother because I don't have a job so I must not care about my kids.I don't think that I can take much more. Where do I turn?What is available to me?Does anyone know? I have no family around here.Please help

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Do not stay for the sake of your children. Find the nearest women's shelter, and get out!

Don't leave your husband high and dry. After the children are safe, let him know that you love him and that you want your relationship to work, and that although you are able to take his beatings, you fear for the children.

You desperately need marriage counseling, which some churches offer for free. If you want to make your marriage work, and he is not willing to receive counseling for his anger, you may need to separate yourself completely from him for a time. My husband was physically abusive during the first year of our marriage. I'm 25, and we've been together now for 4 years, but the healing of our marriage was only because of our faith in Christ. Through our faith, God showed us that we both were at fault: that he was abusive, but that I encouraged his abuse by taunting him and starting arguments. He now has learned to control his anger, he loves me much more than I could have ever imagined, and I have learned to live peacably with him. Our marriage is now beautiful.

If he argues with you about getting help and makes any threats, your first step should be to stay with a women's battery shelter until you can sort out in your head what you will do (with the help of a counselor). If you are scared to find a battery shelter on your own, then call someone you know, and tell them what's going on, and ask them to help you find a place to go.

The worst thing you can do is stay silent about this.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

call the cops

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

First off, next time the jerk lays a hand on you, call the Police. You should never accept that behavior off any man. Your kids shouldn't be living in that situation either. There are shelters that can put you and your kids up till you get on your feet. Do you have Welfare office where you live? You can get help there. Tell anyone, but don't let him keep abusing you. It only gets worse and he might kill you or hurt the kids. Get help now.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Go to a battered women's shelter. They can send you and the kids to another state without him knowing about it and you can start a new life.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

You need to get out now. My heart breaks for you as I wish there was something that I could do. Go to a local YMCA or church and tell them you need help, take your kids and go. I am sure you can find a way to get out of this and I hope and pray that you do. Just keep quiet about it and don't threaten to do it because he will catch on and try to stop you. Again go to a local church or community center, they will lead you in the right direction.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN AWAY FROM ALL OF THIS. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO TREAT HIS WIFE LIKE THAT.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

you dont care about your kids or yourself because you are still with the abusive husband..im pretty sure everything will be ok if you just left him but you wont..so what is the real point of all this?

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Well, what do you want to do? You know that at the start of your marriage he pushed you but now he is hitting you. So he is just going to keep growing in his abuse towards you.

If you want to end it, contact your mom asking if you can stay with her. Get a lawyer, some even work for free. If you don't have any family around. Pawn you wedding ring or anything that you have of value to get away. But that is only my opinion. Good luck

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Just take your kids while he's at work go to a shelter for battered women they will help you a lot. In the meantime I will keep you in my prays

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Take your children and yourself to a domestic violence shelter. My ex husband did the same thing to me....our 5 day old son died because he choked me a week before he was born. Run sweetie. It will be hard but you've got to do this. He's not going to stop..ever.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Almost every community has a battered women's shelter, try that, just ask a cop. If he hits you or pushes you agian, call the police. In most jurisdictions today, he will go to jail, at least for a night so you can get away and be safe. The police will give you a packet of information that will help you in transitioning to being without him. Please get away fgrom him as soon as you can, He is dangerous. Think of your children, what they are having to witness and they are the next targets of that guy.Nobody deserves to have people lay hands on them in anger, practice some self respect and get away from him.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Honey call the cops to make a report,%26amp; then take your 2 kids %26amp; get OUT. There are 2 many shelters %26amp; Org. that will help if you cant turn to family.Its nota good enivorment for you %26amp; kids. GET OUT. Dont try %26amp;be a hero..

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

I would pack up my things and kids and go to where my family is.. Get a lawyer and file for divorce. He has complete control of you and is taking advantage of the fact you have no family to fall back on. I'll bet your self esteem is at rock bottom too??? Go to DFCS and tell them you need help. Are you a member of a church? Do you have a friend that you can talk to? Get away from him before he does more than punch you in the stomach... Funny how when he hits you it's YOUR fault,,, he's a loser that can't accept responsibility for his own actions. Pack your kids and get the hell out of there!!!

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

You have not exactly told where you are but you can get help from the cops as well as find Battered Women Help Groups. But this may make you leave your husband in that case should be able to feed your self and your babies and look after them and maybe find a place to stay as well. So it is better if you can find a job and stable your self before you take any action because without having the ability to feed and cloth your kids they might be taken away from you!!

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Compassion. For yourself first. Compassion for your kids comes along with that. Self love is one of the most difficult things we can achieve for ourselves. Get counselling, please. So many parents are lost in the process of not really knowing what their role is or even who they are as human beings. It can be as easy or hard as you want it to be. But there is no excuse for abuse.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

You and your children are more important than staying in a relationship with him. It's better to separate and see if he would get help to change, the longer you stay , the worse it will get. Emotional and verbal abuse goes very deep, the physical is dead wrong. You do not deserve any of it. There is a lot of help out there. Abuse hot-lines, shelters, and churches . God bless

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

First of all, you do not deserve this. I too know someone that is like your husband. You have to get out of the relationship; it is not worth it to stay. Your children should not have to witness it either. I say move out w/ your kids (if you can't afford your own place stay at a friend's), find a job, and divorce him. You may even want to put a restarining order on him. Call an abuse hotline for professional advice. Stay strong and find a man that will respect you and see how wonderful you are.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Call Safehome %26amp; look up their website. They have a 24-hour 800 # , even if is just to have someone to talk to... also they really help people... Call!

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

There are crisis call lines with counselors available to listen, support and refer you to local resources.There is no charge for the crisis services in most communities. The counselor will be able to support you through whatever kind of decision you come to. The decision to reach out is the first step, and I encourage you to follow your gut and keep on this path.

The impact of this kind of environment can be especially difficult for you, and for your children as well. I hope you can reach deeply within and pull the strength to do what you need to do to protect yourself and your children. The next thing to do is call and find out what is in your own community. And the counselor can help you create a safety plan to use when he becomes abusive, either verbally or physically.

That plan can include safe ways to contact the police in the event of abuse. In some communities when abuse has been reported to the police, arrangements are made so that whenever 911 is called from your number, whether the call is completed or interrupted before anyone can answer, a police car responds immediately.

Please remember your kids and do what will be best for you so that you can give your best to them. And that includes showing them that it is not okay to let yourself be hurt or abused by taking the steps to be safe.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

GET OUT!!!!! he only does those things because you allow him to. Never never never allow a man or anyone for that matter treat you any less than you deserve to be. you should be proud of yourself, you are human. go to a shelter. stop a police officer and get information, look in your phone book. pack up and run with your kids they are too precious. what yould you do if someone treated your daughter that way. to hell with him, you and your kids come first.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

First let me say that i have lived in the hell you are in now.

PUT HIM IN JAIL for domestic VIOLENCE.

while he is in jail, you can get a protective order and that gives you some time to get things rolling, the police can give you some light on shelters for you and your children, they are shelters strictly for women and children in your situation.

You may of heard bad things before about them, but disregard it, could it be as bad as the hell your living in now.

here is a number for domestic violence, they can also assist you on what to do and where to go, no woman is a mans personal piece of trash. I am sure you love your children with everything you are, but you have to get you and your babies out of there and away from him. I lived your hell for several years only i stayed until the night he was going to KILL me and i got away and never went back, he belittles you and blames you for his anger, but anger is a choice and it is his choice. give these people a call, they are professional and can help you get you and your children somewhere your husband cant get to you. most women who suffer abuse at the hands of a husband or boyfriend, do not go back to him because they love him , they go back out of fear, don't be one of us that repeated the cycle, stand up and be strong for us and with us.1-800-799-SAFE good luck to you and you are in my prayers.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

listen to what everyone is telling you.

this situation is not going to get anything,but worse. he will get more violent in time,and one day you may not be able to get away. don't wait for your kids to witness that. find a shelter,out of state,now. do not even tell the kids.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Please go immediately to the local shelter for abused women %26amp; children. My mother put up with my abusive father for 24 years. He was also abusive to me and my sister. Don't let your children go through this, you have to step up and make a change. Your children can't do it for themselves. You're the adult and you have to do something about it now before it gets any worse. Domestic violence escalates as you have already experienced. It is only going to get worse. You have to get out now before it is too late.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Get a plan to leave... call the police and put your plan in action. The abusive will only get worse... He will hurt you, may even kill you if you do not leave. and do not say your staying for for kids........ Most kids if you ask them will tell you they will much rather come from a broken home, then to live every day in one....... Think about what your children are learning. Soon (if not already) he will have your children start calling you names. He will call your children names. This is headed no where.... call a women's safe shelter in your area, talk to someone, they will answer the phone 24 hours a day 7 days a week. THEY WILL HELP YOU. The first thing a coward like your husband does is isolate. and he doing it, soon you will not be able to get on line. You do not have your own money, soon it will cost to much for you to have clothes, even have gas to drive your car. if you dial 911 and ask them for the #'s you need they will give it to you. They will also flag your phone # and address so if any calls comes to them from your home, the police will come.. e-mail if you need to Lynnn30@yahoo.com or IM same ID..... tell me what state your in.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

one word Qwanada, its a shelter for women in your exact situation and not like those other bad shelters a very good one , i am terribaly sorry for what your going threw. I will pray for you. Main thing here is get ahold of womens shelters and have you not called the cops on him? that was your first wrong move if you havent. your not a bad mother. but if you truely want out you can get out, theres ways, we got out of it. you just truely have to want it, and not look back.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

If what you said is true, the first thing you do is to call the police if he hits you again and have him in jail.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

where is ur family that u cant call and go there for a visit or ask for help?don't be to proud to ask for help,tell them how it is.if they wont help u then go to a shelter its listed in the phone book,don't cry wolf and expect anyone to help if u go back ,but get out and away from this now i know its hard but it will be better please leave as soon as u can...

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

usually in every city or town they have local shelters for battered women. You need to get out for your children period. If hes such a jerk to hit a woman he wont think twice about hitting your children when he gets in a rage. he needs anger management classes. and if he wants to work things out he will take them and try. but if you stay and i know things are much easier said than done, but if you dont do it for yourself... do it for your children they could be silently being traumatized especially when you think they are not watching or cant hear you guys. Go to the local hospital ER even though you are not hurt they will and can provide you the services that you can immediately contact. You call the police and press charges... the court will grant you money paid to you by him to help you and the children until you are up and back on your feet again. Please go to your local ER room or even a local fire dept or shelter for battered women... look in the phone book or call information. You are in my prayers and if you ever need to write me to talk to my e mail is misspookett@yahoo.com

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Please, please...GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION NOW. Abuse escalates into worse violence. No real man will hit a woman; it is especially worse when a man claims that it's "your fault, because you pushed his buttons". There are no buttons, simply impulse control. How would he feel if someone bigger and stronger pushed him around and screamed at him? There are women's shelters in every state in the U.S. They are confidential, and will help you. Also, get some counseling help. You and your children need to get counseling to get over this situation. You have a world of options; use them. You are better than this; you are stronger than this. Even if you have no family in the area, you have hope. Another word of warning: GET A RESTRAINING ORDER. Every time he puts his hands on you, CALL THE POLICE. This is documented by the authorities. According to Federal law now, if a law officer does not detain or arrest in domestic battery cases, he can be held liable or even arrested himself, depending on the state's laws. But the police have to arrest whoever is hitting and hold them. You need to put your foot down and say: "No more". You and your children don't need the grief and stress in your life; if you don't do it for yourself, do it for them. Lastly, if you have not completed your education, do it now. There are local and federal programs that can educate you, as well as get you on your feet. You can do this! Good luck and God bless.

My husband is abusive and I'm really not sure what to do. Can anyone help me?

Remember, You're a strong woman.You have to take care of yourself. You can do it.Leave Now!!!